The workplace continues to evolve at a rapid pace.
That evolution has seen the term ‘soft skills’ become prevalent.
They are seen as increasingly vital and are often prioritised over hard or technical skills.
This growing importance is the reason we decided to explore the soft skills you and your leaders and managers need during our latest complimentary webinar.
James White, our CEO, was joined by our brilliant trainers Dan Boniface and Darren Draper, who teach soft skills in our executive-level leadership and management training – and who front The Sound Leadership Podcast.
And they began by looking at the history of soft skills and what the term means.
Dan said: “It is one of those terms people have heard of. But it is hard to articulate what it means because we demonstrate these skills daily.
“The term emerged from the US Army in the 1960s. It spoke about soft skills being those things that were not directly about using the warfare equipment and machinery.
“So, the human element – leadership skills, how we collaborate and make decisions. And they coined the phrase that hard skills win battles and soft skills win wars.
“60-odd years ago, the importance of those soft skills was starting to be seen.”
These skills gained prominence in the workplace during the 1980s and 1990s.
Darren added: “What we are seeing today is that hard skills are being replicated by AI and automation.
“And soft skills are being elevated because they are going to be the difference. That human connection is crucial, and these skills are more in demand.”
This is a skill that shows interest, builds trust, and fosters understanding.
“It is a term that is often bandied about, but I’m not sure people always know what it means,” Darren said.
“It is not just nodding when you are having a conversation.
“It is about listening to understand,” Darren said. “You are seeking information and listening to what the other person is saying.
“You are seeking to understand before being understood.
“You are not listening just to react.”
Darren said: “How can you bring your message or communication to life and engage the audience, so they take it away in the way you want to achieve?
“Stories are crucial for this. They make it relatable, understandable, and memorable.”
This is an increasingly crucial skill in the workplace.
“It builds on active listening,” Darren said.
“How are you going to adapt your communication from that active listening?
“The more you can talk to the person in front of you, rather than from a preprepared script, the more engaged they will be in the conversation. And the more you build that human connection.”
How often do you need to persuade others to do something?
“This can be a tricky skill to master, particularly earlier on in your career,” Dan said.
“You need to be able to build trust and credibility and lead with authority to gain trust and get buy-in.
“Clear communication is also vital. Don’t fluff it up. Be clear and direct.”
The workplace can be tough.
And you need to quickly recover from challenges and hard moments.
“This is about how you deal with adversity and being able to move forward from it,” Dan said.
“Resilience is something we have all heard of, but it can be tricky to learn how to build it.
“You build resilience and coping mechanisms, unfortunately, by going through some form of adversity.
“If you haven’t been through adversity at work, you probably have in your personal life with something like a bereavement. Think about how you can use that experience and take those skills to the workplace.”
Forming positive working relationships with others is essential.
“This is a key one for me, even though it can be underrated,” Dan said. “It is the people element and how you nurture those relationships.
“And I view it as like a bank account. Every positive interaction with someone – even if it is just passing them in the corridor and asking about their weekend - is another deposit in the bank.
“You build up credit over time.”
Relationship building leads us seamlessly to collaboration.
“Without relationship building, it is hard to collaborate,” Darren said.
“But in business, we never achieve anything on our own.
“Working closely with other people and understanding their skills and expertise comes from relationship building.”
Critical thinking is pivotal for success.
“It is about separating fact from opinion,” Darren said.
“We are in a world where we need to be able to critically think about everything and where we need to be able to challenge people’s facts and opinions.
“It means that if you need to relay that information on to someone else, you are secure about where it came from.
“We also need to critically think about our views, biases, and assumptions.”
There is often a debate about confidence, but it is widely considered a soft skill.
“All of these skills we have outlined give us confidence,” Darren said.
“The confidence to have conversations with people we maybe don’t know. The confidence to build relationships. The confidence to relay the message and know it will land the way we want it to.
“The more we practice these soft skills, the better we get at them.”
Last but by no means least is emotional intelligence.
“This is not at the bottom of the list because it is the least important,” Dan said.
“Emotional intelligence is at the forefront of everything we do.
“The two parts to it are understanding and regulating our emotions and then the emotions of others, where we lead with empathy.
“Empathy is a bit of a buzzword and must not be confused with sympathy. It is about seeking to understand and then being understood.”
If someone thinks they may not be great at collaboration or critical thinking, for example, how difficult is it to learn these skills?
“It is hard if you move on too quickly,” Dan said.
“There is a lot of research out there that suggests becoming a master of something requires 10,000 hours of practice.
“If you take that equation and the 10 skills we have just outlined, that is going to be hard to achieve. The good news is that additional research says it is not so much about the hours, but about deliberate practice.
“So, let’s say you need to do a performance review with a member of your team. You have reflected on your last review with them and feel you lacked emotional intelligence.
“Put that at the forefront of your mind so you go into the review asking questions – What’s been your biggest challenge? What’s been your biggest win? What has been going on for you?
Developing these soft skills is an ongoing process.
“You can’t complete empathy or collaboration,” Dan said. “It is an infinite gain. So, it is about practice, practice, practice, and continuing to develop those skills to continue to get better.”
“If you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right.”
Our panel can’t take the credit for this great quote.
It came from Henry Ford.
“It shows how important mindset is,” Darren said. “You might think you are not good at active listening – how can you get better?
“We always say that a growth mindset is the best one to be in.
“If you have a growth mindset, you are looking to learn more and get slightly better. The best athletes and footballers are always looking at marginal gains. We always say this is the best mindset to be in – it means you go into every conversation thinking about how you can learn more.”
We’ve got another list for you.
Here are the lesser-known soft skills you may not be so familiar with, but that are becoming increasingly crucial
Understanding, respecting, and adapting to different cultural contexts has never been more vital.
“This is particularly important if you work in a global, diverse organisation,” Dan said.
“It is about understanding cultural differences. The more you understand them, the better placed you are to effectively communicate.
“I’m off to Zurich soon to deliver training. And because I have not been there before, I wanted to learn more about the culture and build strong connections with the people out there.
“I attended a webinar supporting people going into German-speaking countries and found that the humour is like British humour, and they are punctual.
“So, if I say we are having a break at 11am, that is when we are having a break - I can’t run over because I will start to impact on their trust and the relationships I am building.”
Cognitive diversity is also relevant here.
Dan said: “This is the understanding we all have different views and backgrounds, and that it is a good thing because you will get different perspectives.”
Great minds don’t always think alike.
This is the ability to adapt to different topics, concepts, situations, and audiences.
And see problems from different perspectives.
Dan said: “As a leader, you may be presenting to the board and soon after you may be presenting to the public, and you need to be able to quickly adapt.”
What does this mean?
“It is a vital tool. It is about knowing when and when not to act,” Dan said.
“If you take feedback as an example, think about whether it is the right time to give it or whether you need to hold off and pick a different time.”
This is the ability to function without having all the facts.
“Don’t let perfect get in the way of good,” Darren said.
“It is about not being afraid to make decisions when you don’t have all the data or information in front of you.
“Sometimes, you have to make a decision and learn on the way.”
Navigating ambiguity leads neatly to discernment, which is essentially the ability to make sound decisions quickly.
Darren said: “In times of crisis or during a restructure, you need to make some decisions.
“Get things done quickly and reflect afterwards on what you would do differently if it happened again.”
Or, in simpler terms, the skill of disagreeing.
“It is about going. ‘You’re not right’ without destroying their confidence or making them feel small,” Darren said.
“When I was a process expert, I worked with lots of people more senior than me. And I had to disagree with them at times because I was the process expert in the room.
“That was my value to the business.
“If I didn’t disagree with them constructively and show how to overcome the situation, I would be devaluing my role.”
This soft skill is about pausing and seizing learning opportunities.
Dan said: “When you have just been through something, pause and take the time to reflect on what has happened, rather than moving on quickly.
“Sometimes with reflection, we think something has not gone to plan, but don’t dig any further.
“But you need to consider the why. Why didn’t it go to plan?
“You also need to consider what went well and how you contributed to that.
“Learn from the wins as well as the things that didn’t go the way you wanted.”
This is a new term.
Dan said: “It is about how you come across on email, Teams, Slack, and social media, and how your message is being received and how you are receiving them.
“Are they being taken personally? Are they having an impact? How are they being interpreted?”
This is another soft skill with close ties to emotional intelligence.
“It is about regulating how you feel and react to situations,” Dan said.
“It is especially key in high-stakes situations, like negotiations and contract deals.
“If you lose control of your emotions, you get into dangerous territory.
“Even in those moments, try to pause and regain a bit of composure.”
Let’s have a look at three of these lesser-known soft skills in more detail, starting with reflective thinking.
Here, Darren highlighted a model called Kolb’s Learning Cycle.
He said: “People watching this webinar would have had a concrete experience – they may have reinforced some of the soft skills they already had. Or learnt some new ones.
“From that, we need a reflective observation. What do you think of the information you have gained from this webinar? There may be areas where you could do better, for example.
“Then we have abstract conceptualisation, which is essentially about what you will do differently. It may be that next time you speak to the CEO and disagree, you will be open and honest, and ensure your opinion is heard.
“From there, we go to active experimentation, which means you do it. You have that conversation with the CEO. And from that, you have a new concrete experience and reflective observation, so the cycle continues.
“The crucial part of the cycle, which people often miss, is reflective observation. Give yourself the opportunity to learn and think about what has happened because that’s where your awareness grows and your potential increases.”
We know what you are thinking - this phrase has the feel of corporate jargon.
It does.
But the skill itself is crucial and worth exploring in more detail.
And to do that, Dan shared one of his “favourite feedback models” – SBI.
Dan said: “Humans don’t like it when others tell us what to do.
“When we lead with an ‘ask first’ approach, we invite the other person into the conversation.
“So, we ask, and then we can get our point of view across.
“When we ask, the other person often knows what needs doing, what should have been done, or what they have done well.
“So, you can either agree with them or offer your view.”
SBI stands for Situation Behaviour Impact.
“Let’s take the example of the performance review again,” Dan said.
“You’ve been helping someone develop a team member, and they told you they wanted to lead with more empathy.
“You could go along the lines of ‘I observed you doing that review. You set the scene nicely and waited for the right moment (Situation).
“’You led with empathy and understanding and were open and honest about not being through that situation (Behaviour).
“’The impact of that was that they feel good about it. They feel empowered and that they can take more responsibility for their action.”
The model also works for negative scenarios.
“It is a good way to frame feedback. The biggest thing that gets missed with feedback is the impact.”
Although it is a feedback model. It works well for constructive dissent.
Dan said: “It is a great way to get your view across.”
“It is all about controlling the controllables and being familiar with what you are delivering,” Darren said.
“What that means is that if you are going into a difficult conversation or a performance review, be prepared. What notes do you need? What mindset do you need to be in?
“You don’t want to go into a performance review straight after a stressful meeting. Give yourself time to prepare and get ready.
“Can you go into the meeting with a growth mindset so that you learn more about that situation rather than just delivering feedback.
“A lot of the problems first line managers find are because they have not been in that situation before. So, practice with colleagues or our AI-powered training companion Thirty Seven – so when you are doing it for real, you can deliver at a good standard.”
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